Skip to main content

Pitch dark







A shadow has crept over my soul
Inching through my defences
Making me darkness herself
I wallow in grief over things lost
In the invisible bonfire
And try to survive on the warmth of embraces
Of kindred spirits
Only that it feels like a stranglehold
And I push them away with a
Weaponized tongue and my newfound strangeness
Friends and foes are all the same
Only difference is the name.
I burn through whatever light I get
Worried I might never see again
In haste I commit little crimes

And wallow once more again. 

Comments

  1. A desperate time we spend in shadow, grasping for light. Worry seems only another fuel to the fire that creates such darkness. Your poem captures that duration before we can move.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I resonate with the pushing away of embraces when one is grieving and tends towards solitude. Especially empathize with the line "I wallow in grief at things lost". The human condition.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I can feel the fear and darkness here and yet an indefatigable spirit

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you. Feels great coming from my favorite poet :)

      Delete
  4. We are inundated with shadows. News feeds on darkness and we need to search every corner we can for light. May we grieve and build a better life for those we touch.

    ReplyDelete
  5. A raw look at human grief. Very nicely written! You captured feelings we all experience.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Friends and foes are all the same
    Only difference is the name.

    You got it right! It is a question of what nice things come from them. The nicer ones are from friends!

    Hank

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Glad to know someone liked this line :P I was worried it sounds too lame

      Delete
  7. Such a raw and honest poem this is, Samyukhta!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Not for the light hearted. It's so intense!! Well written 🤗

    ReplyDelete
  9. I've felt this way before. You describe it well.

    ReplyDelete
  10. You've brilliantly captured grief, how one tends to push others away and prefers to wallow in shadows. Bless the kindred spirits, who continue to embrace!

    ReplyDelete
  11. I have been in this darkness and hope not to endure it again!

    ReplyDelete
  12. Your words are grief itself - raw and painful. And for some time (in grief), it seems like there will never be light again...
    Thank you for sharing.
    Anna :o]

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes. But glad to inform you that now I'm currently revelling in light

      Delete
  13. When shadows creep over the soul, there is usually a way to find enough light to cause the shadows to recede. Usually...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ah the eternal search for life is what keeps us human

      Delete
  14. I can feel the grappling in the darkness in your words. It is difficult to handle these emotions. All the very best to you.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Would love some validation or better ... Some criticism!

Trending posts

Others

Living on the mandate of others Is basically Life imprisonment Yet we all bear through it All Smiles through a gritted teeth. A rite of passage of course To come unscathed through the other side Full of sudden wisdom and cryptic cynicism Silently afraid to cut these choking umbilical chords Nourishment and community and all Convincing ourselves this is what it is To Be Human,


Taking the place of the Others Who won and lost Losing our wonder And wondering what we lost- The essence of being ourselves
The hyenas feed on our soul Only when it is exposed Keep it intact tightly within you Guard it like a watchdog Fundamental rights and all. Worship it like a temple and Pray you don’t lose yourself For the call of others Whatever may be the cost.



You Too

I too didn’t wannaget raped Stalked hunted preyed on And Live in a social structure Where I could do no wrong.
I too wanted to report him And make him pay For all the layers He stripped off me And made me a sexual object Only worthy of being attained
I too want to come out clean After I burn down this building Of patriarchy and misogyny Where his silence is valued more than my voice And my silence is enough to prove his male noise.
I too I really do But will you pay my bills And help me when I’m on pills? Why will I ask you for justice When you shame me for asking too late
Truth is You don’t want me to voice out And change this system Where it works just fine for you How is my accusation worse than his actions? Because now you have to do something about it now?
So I’m sorry If it is going to affect your privileged little life But I am going to climb to the roof of your building Take my biggest fricking megaphone And shout YOU TOO* *you silent enabler of patriarchy I hope you can hear now*


ek gaon mein ek kisan raghu thatha! :P

It's been a week in Pune already!! :O
and believe it or not  - I have fallen in love with this city! <3
or maybe it is just another one of my defense mechanisms , protecting me from shocks. Whatever this is , it has aroused me enough, to write a post! So let me finish this before reality sinks in .
( Side note :

  Defense mechanisms are pretty intriguing . Do you know that I haven't cried a single tear drop yet? My friends think it is some kind of sacrilegious blasphemy from my  part. But hey! If pessimists argue that I have effectively ended one life , I argue back that I have just started a new one :) I do miss chennai . However , I am not going to go gaga over it. Okay I just did . )
I haven't had much chance to discover the city in its entirety yet. But , from whatever I have seen - it is fresh , green , pleasant and mindnumbingly beautiful :')

So here it is . The elusive list of things I have noticed about Pune and my new life in general :

1) I was never a nat…