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The seeker


I seek inspiration
for writing is easy no more 
thoughts ebb rather than flow
instinctual illumination and enlightenment
which once defined me 
sounds like something from a bygone era. 

Words don't even exist 
to sound stifled or stymied 
everything feels mechanical
excitement doesn't really tickle my heart
when I think of blogging

I can hear wordpress whispering to me 
that blogger is an un-updated relic , 
I can feel the crunch of not having enough content
to be eligible for adsense 
or enough drive 
to submit to a blogadda 

References I make feel like
the Dorne storyline from Game of Thrones -
They just don't make sense.
Everything I put pen to, sounds so unoriginal 
or better put by somebody else. 

I used to sound light hearted even when i was trying not to be -
much to my chagrin in fact ,
but now i sound like cranky ranter 
venting her turmoil in public webspace 
Basically I have become somebody , 
I used to laugh at. 

But yeah , things change. 
For better or worse 
and you have to go with the flow
Isn't that what "Steady Meanderings" is all about?
I ask myself 
In that minuscule moment  
I get a brief glimpse of 
What I used to be 
or what I could be,
If only I could get rid of these not so insane negative thoughts.

This pity party has to stop asap 
I need to write,sketch , scribble something
meander somewhere 
anywhere but here.

For that , 
I seek inspiration


Comments

  1. I would say it is a Wonderful piece of honest no-meandering from you. I feel you must definitely write poems too at irregular intervals. All of us seek inspiration and we get it from kitchen to crowd. We fall, dust ourselves and chase the next. So come on girl...rock rock rockkkkk!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Great to see this from you :) The moment you realize that you need inspiration is in itself a sign that you want to bring about a change! Change is good! Good luck samyuktha :D

    ReplyDelete

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Others

Living on the mandate of others Is basically Life imprisonment Yet we all bear through it All Smiles through a gritted teeth. A rite of passage of course To come unscathed through the other side Full of sudden wisdom and cryptic cynicism Silently afraid to cut these choking umbilical chords Nourishment and community and all Convincing ourselves this is what it is To Be Human,


Taking the place of the Others Who won and lost Losing our wonder And wondering what we lost- The essence of being ourselves
The hyenas feed on our soul Only when it is exposed Keep it intact tightly within you Guard it like a watchdog Fundamental rights and all. Worship it like a temple and Pray you don’t lose yourself For the call of others Whatever may be the cost.



You Too

I too didn’t wannaget raped Stalked hunted preyed on And Live in a social structure Where I could do no wrong.
I too wanted to report him And make him pay For all the layers He stripped off me And made me a sexual object Only worthy of being attained
I too want to come out clean After I burn down this building Of patriarchy and misogyny Where his silence is valued more than my voice And my silence is enough to prove his male noise.
I too I really do But will you pay my bills And help me when I’m on pills? Why will I ask you for justice When you shame me for asking too late
Truth is You don’t want me to voice out And change this system Where it works just fine for you How is my accusation worse than his actions? Because now you have to do something about it now?
So I’m sorry If it is going to affect your privileged little life But I am going to climb to the roof of your building Take my biggest fricking megaphone And shout YOU TOO* *you silent enabler of patriarchy I hope you can hear now*


ek gaon mein ek kisan raghu thatha! :P

It's been a week in Pune already!! :O
and believe it or not  - I have fallen in love with this city! <3
or maybe it is just another one of my defense mechanisms , protecting me from shocks. Whatever this is , it has aroused me enough, to write a post! So let me finish this before reality sinks in .
( Side note :

  Defense mechanisms are pretty intriguing . Do you know that I haven't cried a single tear drop yet? My friends think it is some kind of sacrilegious blasphemy from my  part. But hey! If pessimists argue that I have effectively ended one life , I argue back that I have just started a new one :) I do miss chennai . However , I am not going to go gaga over it. Okay I just did . )
I haven't had much chance to discover the city in its entirety yet. But , from whatever I have seen - it is fresh , green , pleasant and mindnumbingly beautiful :')

So here it is . The elusive list of things I have noticed about Pune and my new life in general :

1) I was never a nat…