Tuesday, October 29, 2013

The end of the end?

Dear Blog Reader,
I need to write. What started out as sheer laziness slowly became an egoistic abstinence from the inevitable. I need to write like I need to breathe , a bird’s need to fly and fish’s to swim. I need to W R I T E.
I have been contemplating the closing down of semi’s stories and sharings,



To start a new blog or write through some other medium. Off late I feel even  the thought of the  ‘duty’ of fillng my blog suffocate me. Not like I have tonnes of work( like my other counterparts from stricter colleges) . Previously I used to write whenever I used to have a ‘brainwave’ or what I believed to be a flash of genius. Either I’ve grown dumber or  my  brain has stopped thinking in terms of a blogpost.  Both these points don’t seem beneficial for sss
And that’s not even my only reason .
When I first started writing this blog , I didn’t know what the heck I was doing. It was all kinds of exciting ,  no one used to read it so no pressure of disappointing a reader :P . I used to change the blog layout and design also every week . Not that it was always pleasing to the eye but it showed that I cared. I've always ( at least at the thought level) tried to experiment with the types of post I write and even the structure of presentation. Maybe my English and writing is better than before ,  but not my intent , care or creativeness.
#IAMSICKOF the intro , body , conclusion structure and I am the one to be blamed.
Being a history student and writing only  3 times a month had made me believe strongly initially. Then readers started giving me feedback that I wrote too much sometimes. So I tried writing less. After a point I finally realised that I don’t like changing my writing style for anyone.
that writing more is always  better . Since I loved writing in this space it made sense
No offense. I hate listening to feedback. It took me a while to realise that I write for myself and not anyone else. And I think it takes guts to admit that :P Writing is beyond page views and fancy statistics  - anniversaries , page count , location of readers or even number of posts.
That is when I had a sad brainwave : Why write in a medium where others read and then crib about their feedback? I should stick to writing for myself.
The fact that it took me 3 ½ years to realise this, doesn’t speak volumes of my mental faculties , does it?
There is more.
I have changed as a person. College is a vital phase in one’s life and I think it needs differentiation from the school years . I feel that sss should remain a reflection of my ‘exam years’ from 10th – 12th standard.
The world has changed in the way it reads , writes and even the way it thinks and logically infers. Attention spans have certainly reached an all time low~ The visual medium attracts more attention naturally.  TV shows are trumping books. Books have lesser words. Blogs have bigger pictures and soon even a tweet will be long.
I need a less kiddish a more formal blog for my curriculum vitae. A place where I can re discover my writing  and please my placement co ordinator.
 However , a final brainwave changed the tide of proceedings in favour of semi’s stories and sharings. The wave of sentimentality as the Indian me will melodramatically say. This blog has too many memories for me to just delete with a button. I know we all need to move on eventually, but why not not move on till it becomes absolutely necessary.
Yes I am too lazy and uninspired right now to write, but what guarantee do I have that things will change with a new blog? One bad marriage is better than too many bitter divorces? Maybe we’ll work through this or maybe not, but I can promise you that renewed effort and experimentation will be carried out in the following month.
Henceforth I declare that I will be writing for myself and my sake only and that reader’s sake is only secondary but not unecessary .
See you VERY SOON folks ,
semi is not smiling yet
Semi

3 comments:

  1. Everybody is different. I think that the feedback I get has improved my writing. Not just the comments, but the trends in what i see people reading of mine.

    I do go through periods where I think I'm done with the blog.

    I hope you're not done with yours, but I can definitely understand the desire to break new ground.

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  2. Hey, ultimately you have to write for yourself. If blogging feels like a chore of like you're not doing it for your own interest any more, then work on what makes you happy. You can always come back later if you just decide a break is what you needed. Blogs are really hard work to maintain every single week.

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  3. Thank you both for the comment :) I am taking some time off and waiting for a brainwave xp
    and also reading your blogs :D

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Your thoughts are highly appreciated