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Prisoner of her own device

And here I am finally.
A prisoner of true randomness. Like Sheldon from big bang theory , I can't take any decisions for myself. The dice dictates my fate. What started as a simple strategy to avoid boredom has become a single minded obsession leading to inevitable destruction of routine and order. If I get 2 , economics is studied. If 4 is the luck number , I blog. And hence I blog now . SAVE ME.
It is not funny anymore! My own ocd ridden brain is deceiving me. Oh stupid brain , I haven't slept in 2 days. For the number 18 hasn't come yet, how do you expect me to sleep when i don't have the darn NUMBER? And I can't even call for help because, it is number 87. www.random.org is truly random :(
Ran Dumb :'(

No , save me! I am ... no, I WAS her stomach. Now I'm just an acid infested and chemical eaten hollow sac. Her brain is not to blame. It kept showing her sensible danger signals. However , that horrible , impulsive heart of her's has no brains (what an irony) . It kept beating for that black liquid which doesn't even deserve to be poured on toilet seats. Maybe if you could add a number which says 'stop drinking coke' inside her chit bag , it could offer me a chance for redemption. A chance for my enzymes to break down food again , a chance to not burp or grunt every ten minutes in agony. SAVE ME.

Ah sir , I see you spoke to the stomach. Forget it , Please look at me - the eye. I was labelled inefficient when I was just 10 years old. Just because SHE wanted to read Harry potter in the dark. Of course no one is saying no to Harry but the darkness is sheer stupidity. Every time the light is turned on , she turns the other side. Stupid kids they produce nowadays >.<
To make matters worse she is a teen now. And I am forced to indulge in movie marathons and Grey's anatomy marathons. My already bespectacled frame can't endure the undue stress and of course all the 'feels' and the inevitable tears. So sir , could you please ask Rowling to write more and Shonda Rhimes to kill less?. And ask that young guy Jefferey Archer to stop ending his darn books in cliffhangers? And not release his next book after ONE year? :/ SavE ME!!
I could ask you to write a chit saying 'don't read' , but that is an endeavor which will end in futility .

Please ask Calzona to unite though. That would save the entire grey's fandom. And save George Weasley - it would save the entire world :)

Hey . Save me from my own organs , which rant on me to strangers ( no offense :P), like a grandmom. The stupid brain who is insistent on being fixated to specific ideas, the stomach which cannot digest the food I love , the eye which loves what it sees yet trying to close herself when it gets a little bit too hard to take. Just give me the power too make them understand the spirit which guides - the need of living life to the fullest , through ever pore of my sunburnt skin. Don't save me but help me save me , by telling its not wrong to be stupid. It is not wrong for doing what you love , as long as it doesn't affect anyone else.

Stranger : But hey , aren't you killing yourself slowly in the process?

Lol we all kill ourselves daily by just  breathing longer. One should greet death as an old friend , mortality is inevitable. If it stops you from living your life the way you want , why bother my friend?

S : Loser. you were the one asking me to save you!(aren't you the sum of your organs?) Don't you think addiction to anything is simply miserable?

It is never simple sir. We start doing something because we love doing it  and get stuck in another form of intense routine known as addiction. We still love what we're doing but we slowly start to fear it and finally regret it , as it eats into another parts of our lives.

S: So?

Save me! But don't save me. Listen to my organs , if you want to save my life . Listen to me , if you want to save my spirit :)

S: Listen Ms.Paul Coelho , You need a life to engage your spirit with. So I am sending you to rehab. 

Comments

  1. Liked reading this! Your writing communicates! It flows, it gets more exciting by the blog.
    But not getting a clear sense of you in all this. Are you Sam, Semi, stranger, organs or the save me?
    Also not clear what Coke's got to do with the spirit that guides, or need to live life to the fullest? Unless you're hinting at an old ad of theirs?

    Would also be interested in understanding what ideas a very bright brain can get fixated to. You don't mention!

    And from an 'old'[in age] reader of yr blog and breather of long breaths - we don't kill ourselves daily by just breathing longer...we live that one moment more...and believe me, it's worth it!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. akka! I saw your comment now only. Firstly ,Thank you for regularly commenting at my irregular posts :P
      And to be honest Idk what or who i am exactly right now. Just searching through the post :) I never planned this post , so it is a more like a stream of consciousness hoping to make sense. Coke is just a metaphor of things we love but know is too danger for regular use/abuse. And by spirit i just meant happiness , nothing too deep :P
      And by killing ourselves i just meant that we're anyways gonna die , no reason to fear the unavoidable.

      Delete

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