Deviations aside , no other two words fill me with more venomous hatred and vehement opposition than the word 'grow up' .
a) I love the way I am
b) I don't want to take up responsibilities of any kind
c) I have been pretty much been in the same height for the past 2-4 years -_-
But sometimes life forces us in ways we would've never predicted and even people with names like 'semi' are asked to become full. So in this blogpost i am gonna tentatively try face my own demons through an imaginary 'conversation with god' or some supernatural force above / beyond us which makes us sort our problems. Or a shrink would do i guess .
Something like this post - one of my favorites click HERE.
G: How do you do child?
1/2: Ahem , who is this? What are you doing in my cool dream?
G: I see that you are having extremely strange ones even for you and thought i could be of help!
1/2: Oh helpful you are. But NO! I am quite happy with these dreams of self torture , scrubbing clean my room , planning the marriages of my friends who aren't sixteen yet , buttering up tonnes and tonnes of toast.....Okay I see your point.
G: So let me begin ( unveils a notepad and pen out of thin air.) So have you been lately having any major life experiences?
1/2 : Up heaving my lovely routine for the forthcoming boards can be considered a major life event? Although i can assuredly say that, it is my bvm friends who are having problems coping.
G: what is bvm?
1/2: Aren't you supposed to be all knowing? (cynically)
G: Oh you earthling, you really think I would be interested in each and every detail of your life? I am like your prime minister , basically running everything on the top and occasionally and even randomly involving myself in individual cases - like yours .
1/2 : (sighs) Fine. Bvm is my old school - bala vidya mandir. And the people studying there have decided that they are going to devote the whole of their lives to an exam for the next 3 months when they have already written it some 4 times!
G: All that is tangential to what we're discussing , what you're now engaging is known as indirect resistance in psychodynamic therapic terms.
G: You are running away from the problem!
1/2: (equally energetically) that is because i don't know what the matter is!!
G: Think think , its all hidden inside your unconscious.
1/2: Yo Sigmund Freud , its called the unconscious for a reason
G: I see you want to take the long way round. I don't have much time. But I will try indulge your request. Lets begin with your symptoms . What has been up of late?
1/2 :Well I don't feel much hungry nowadays. Even one meal a day seems tedious
G: (cross ticking something) Next?
1/2: I feel lost even amongst my current crop of friends..
G: Hmm...( suddenly procures a virtual facebook screen) Your privacy settings are extremely flimsy. oh look! That is a nice pic of you in a saree!
1/2: (Slightly smiles) Yeah I know .
G: This girl called Medha asked you to make it your 'dp' and you said yes.
1/2: yeah meds. So?...
G: (accusingly) Why haven't you done so yet?
1/2: (stammeringly) I.. I.. don't know. *restoring calm* I was bored that's why.
God pens down something in his notepad comprehensively
G: Well the diagnosis is pretty clear and obvious. I am not going to search for any more corroborative evidence...
1/2 : PUT ME OUT OF MY MISERY WILL YOU!
G: unsurprisingly ,a couple of factors have coalesced to cause this. First of all admit that you are tensed about your board exams , at the end of the day , it is the single most important exam of your life which is going to determine the college which will in turn affect your material life chances and that of your children's.
1/2: only after Clat. Oops... the common law entrance exams.
G : (continuing) only after the clat. And when you were saying that your friends are worrying excessively , you were merely projecting your emotions on to your friends
1/2: They are the ones living without tv.
G.: Well that is your another ego defence. While they are taking the sensible step , you are doing what is known as reaction formation.
1/2: what's that?
G: Indulging in interests opposite of what you seek. like for example - sexually energetic men engaging men involving themselves actively in religion
1/2: No kidding
G: Hey I was merely quoting your 12th standard psychology text book.
1/2: Go on
G: Where was I? oh yes. Then i saw your photos and everything became pretty clear to me. You are out there in an endeavor not to grow up.
1/2: Excuse me?
G: You simply do not want to grow up. You refuse to put up a sari as your profile picture ; even though you know it is the natural / cool thing to do :P You dream of scrubbing floors - doing some semblance of responsible house work - that is your unconscious struggling with the idea of work . Buttering toast by tonnes is doing work for the whole family and planning marriages as you can see is simply planning marriages :)
1/2 : Wow , Sherlock Holmes .
G: Have you gathered enough insight? Or you think I haven't worked through quite enough?
1/2: (quietly ) I see sense. ( Then progressively becomes more emotive) mom... YEs AMMA!! You think I should take the clothes from outside , fold it AND keep them in their places!!I do NOT WANT to . What is wrong with that? What is wrong with a female not doing housework? It is my wish. Just because you want me to ; doesn't mean I have to. poi saavu
* and she breaks down crying* ( after a while)
G: Now then then , that was more successful than i thought it be! A whole year's worth of therapy within a night ( he certainly looks pleased with himself)
1/2 : You have caused more problems than solved it
G: My job wasn't to solve your problem ; it is for you to. I didn't create you for nothing, earthling! ( he says not unkindly) You seemed befuddled with too many interpretations , so i decided to help this once. Next time you go to a psychologist and pay fees.
1/2: But what do i do now?
G: Well certainly take the next step. Acknowledge who you are and that you can't be the same all the time,
1/2: What's wrong with not wearing a sari? ( combatively again)
G: What's wrong in publicly acknowledging that you are proud of wearing one?
1/2: I didn't post it on a public forum without being proud.
G: You were certainly embarrassed to make it your profile picture. Take the next step kid. And you know helping with the housework is your duty too. Leave aside male/female distinctions. You need to arm yourself with sustenance strategies to survive college.
1/2: Aah College....
G: That will be the next next step. You aren't ready yet , cya later kid!
1/2: one doubt
1/2: Why me?
G: I am you. anbe sivam.
She woke up a while later and remembered the whole dream and decided that the weirdness quotient was definitely only increasing. She wrote down the whole conversation before the whole dream became only 'anbe sivam' in her memory.
Hoping to inspire if not perspire