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Label it as 'random'

help me get it back!
I have been trying to write for a substantial amount of time now and thats my problem. I am writing a post like a history answer - not getting to a point , wasting time , paper , words and patience. Also I am using complex and useless words =| and Smileys x( So relieve me from this hell by accepting the free flowing randomness I am offering .


A lot of break between exams is seen as awesome - it is not. The gap makes us all the more vulnerable to wasting time ,  becoming less bothered and makes us lose interest. How many days can you wait for an exam to get over. May sound dumb but its true - We write exams to get it OVER WITH.
Whatever the institutions say is as close to truth as you are to a friend without facebook - nil.
got to do nothing with the brand x) 

Its shivani's b'day tomorrow. I atleast remember it today :P Being involved with exams makes you more isolated than you imagine! I haven't spoken to my 'best friend' in the last 5 weeks. Does that make us bf's? Someone even asked that. DUH. The best thing you get out of separation is the knowledge that you still love them no matter what and that memories are what that keeps you running . Thank you frontal lobe of the cerebrum of the brain xP
As I have had a chance to finally 'miss' my friends :P I have got the cool right to feel like an outsider. Not weird ,  will explain the fun.
1/2 : Shivani are you having a b'day party?
Shiv : Maybe ? (she must be expecting a surprise party I think :P )
1/2 : Am I invited?
Shiv : (After a lot of dead air) STOP acting like an outsider
1/2 : Its fun :P
that's what you get for typing 'evil' in google :P

I now have no doubts on my crazevilness and your understanding of it so I am adding on to that saying I am surely psychologically disorded in SOME way. No not because I used to cut myself for fun xD , not because I study 'psycho' or had a relationship with my history book and threatened to tear it up if I didn't do well * Blackmail!* ( any ways it did get torn....because I studied xO )
Because...(yea , enough emphasis.)
I GET DREAMS. I know I know everyone does get it , I never said everyone is normal :P However what I am informing you is
Our mind is composed of the conscious and unconsciousness. Conscious is that part we are aware of ...but unconscious is more evil . B| It is the one which contains all the masses of info and memories....It has everything we got from conception to old age. 
even this seems evil to my eye

Whats my point? Unconscious which can sift through masses of info is also the cause of our dreams . When we are asleep we still are aware of some info (like a knock on the door)  and we are technically just letting the physical systems rest....as our 'mental' ones still function and cause the dream.
Now the unconscious is an evil little thing as I said before but like heroes who are thugs in tamil cinemas ,they also care about us. Using their superior knowledge they can forecast some conditions ( no even they can't forecast the weather)  like upcoming breakdowns due to stress , fights with friends or some other disasters which are important to us. THEY ALERT US THROUGH DREAMS ABOUT THESE FORECASTS.Or that's what my books said. 

............and ya I am having such dreams. No I am not an expert but I have a rather impressive hypothetico deductive reasoning or thats what I believe.

Now all you have in your minds is 'what sort of dream' ( see ! I have skill :P )
actually not

I am consistently having dreams like I am running away from my old school ( which I already have! ) and fighting it out with my ex-principal :/ ex classmates/ still friends and even the security guy! It is bizarre because random people like my current classmates (who are very important for my immediate functioning ) family members (where did they come from?! ) and even people I normally don't even think about are featuring in 'guest roles' . So the unconscious is working overtime.

The weirdest one must be where I am in a NEW school (Again!) with my 12th standard cousin - he's doing science = yuck , the girl I held tuition for :P ie my STUDENT , and some very random bvm friends. I yell why I am here and find that a 'technical' error has caused me to change schools again! I cannot believe and becoming more insane than normal start murmuring 'CV CV' .  Getting a phone from my student ( I am weak on discipline :P )  and try to type out the number. This is what amazes me - I am intelligent even in my dreams xD I understand that I always 'saved' my friends numbers and didnot mentally remember them. DAMN (the)  technology =| I bravely understand that I am a scared of being new - again. So I start running away from the classroom and into BVM's library corridor to CV's Yoga hall to my bedroom - where I wake up sweating.

odi po! 
What my unconscious is trying to tell me - I don't understand. All I know is that CV is the best thing that ever happened to me - accidentally. I am NOT going to a new school again =P Maybe college.

What else? Its HOLIDAYS babe! B| Time to get stoned , wasted ,read books , learn to drive my scooty , shake up some blog posts , re invest on yoga , become fat ( add 'try') prepare for my CLATs and have some bledy FUN <3

Atleast that's what I think. AND yes all those phrases can come in the same sentence , I just showed you =)

                                                                                        Yours , ippadiku
                                                                                  ALL  in ALL mokka
                                                                                             Semi the dandanakka Don xD

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ek gaon mein ek kisan raghu thatha! :P

It's been a week in Pune already!! :O
and believe it or not  - I have fallen in love with this city! <3
or maybe it is just another one of my defense mechanisms , protecting me from shocks. Whatever this is , it has aroused me enough, to write a post! So let me finish this before reality sinks in .
( Side note :

  Defense mechanisms are pretty intriguing . Do you know that I haven't cried a single tear drop yet? My friends think it is some kind of sacrilegious blasphemy from my  part. But hey! If pessimists argue that I have effectively ended one life , I argue back that I have just started a new one :) I do miss chennai . However , I am not going to go gaga over it. Okay I just did . )
I haven't had much chance to discover the city in its entirety yet. But , from whatever I have seen - it is fresh , green , pleasant and mindnumbingly beautiful :')

So here it is . The elusive list of things I have noticed about Pune and my new life in general :

1) I was never a nat…

The Girl who cried wolf

The Girl who cried wolf
Splendid Sir Do you know the girl who cried wolf? Of course you do Do you believe her torrid tales of The Big Bad wolves Who feast on her soul every day? Probably you do. We do know that one bad animal doesn’t define a species Do you? #Notallwolves We get it sir Can we get on with it?
Your fragile ego Calls her a Nazi And disses her into a ditch Of silent suffering Like the good old days When girls were good Like little red riding hood
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8

Hi readers! Thanks for sticking around even when I don't write for months. I was having a writer's block of sorts and generally a rough phase in my life. The poem I'm publishing below is a very personal one and took a great deal of bravery from my side to be even posted. Many friends dissuaded me from sharing this particular chapter of my life. I have written on what it is like, to feel like a failure even when you know that you aren't one. It might seem like a small problem to most of you but I assure you that it has taken its toll on my life. However , I've recovered enough to talk about it now and share it with others , for I know that I'm not alone and want others to not feel alone too. This post does not intend to be negative , it just captures one of the darker phases of my life. There is always light at the end of the tunnel , I just chose to project the darkness this time. Thank you. 
People who get 98 start behaving like a 98 The poor ones who get an 8 …