Saturday, June 4, 2011

Semi's sad story

 The alarm went off at 6 AM. However , I was already ready for it! What has happened to my life in the past 10 days?! Here I was having a bath with hot water (!) , preparing myself for my first day of  school in Chettinad Vidyashram!! =O Yet the picture of me walking parallel to the KFI roads , bubbling with energy , expectations and dreams and inhaling the fresh air , is still lingering in the back of my mind......Life as surely changed for me, and it is upto ONLY me now to make it better or worse.
Somewhere during the May twenties , when I was finally starting to think that holidays can be useful......it started. My room had finally been re decorated and , I was in love with new bed which was wood and red to my liking!! I was reading the Dark summit , a non fiction and as usual an earphone was gifting music to my ears...what more can I ask for? 15  more days of holidays , an awesome school to go to (kfi) and I had already befriended everyone! Nothing can go wrong.....
No! Life gave the answer to me - in the hard way. My dad came and lied next to me in the comfortable bed , and was like " You are enjoying your holidays eh?" and I was like " What else can I do?" . All of you must know this - we are a family of big mouths , except my mom who is very discreet. He gave me the grin and revealed that KFI has sent a letter stating that I was not eligible for joining their school as I had not written the board exams .
That was when everything started coming reeling down. My old school BVM , had not allowed the students to take the board examinations and assured us that taking school exams can also provide me admission in other board schools....All I can say of that is that we have the proof and can sue the school for not checking the rules. Bottom line - SCHOOL CONDUCTED EXAMS DO NOT LET YOU CHANGE TO ICSE BOARDS.
I am not going to elaborate my hate for bvm here , after all it has helped me  for the past 12 years and I am sourly disappointed that such a huge institution was so irresponsible in such an important matter like the board exams. I really really hope that they realize this and amend their mistakes by next year...after all CCE is a new phenomenon and mistakes are bound to happen - with my life.
Turning back to those horrible days , when I awaited the result - not my exam ones but for the letter from ICSE or CBSE telling that everything was okay , were indeed HORRIBLE. The experience has proven that purgatory is worse than hell.Every morning I would wake up .... and immediately remember that my verdict was still hanging like an albatross from my neck . Anguish was what filled my days and tears which were considered stupid covered my cheeks....In the end I was just begging the highness for a result .
In the meantime my results came , I had done extremely well , a 9.8 out of 10 ( my style to fall short of .2 =P ) and this fueled my anger towards the system , which was causing jeopardy in my life. Frankly , I wanted to murder Kapil Sibal for bringing in something in a Beta version , this is not the computer to just check , students future are at stake!
A day after my result , I woke up at 12 as usual , only this time a phone woke me up! It was from my aunt  she was like " Chammu , we are in CV. We just spoke with the principal and she was very impressed with your marks and your ambition to pursue humanities. She has agreed to give you admission and is really eager to meet you! " and cut the phone before I could shout "what about KFI??"
Life was a daze. It has been my dream right from 5th standard to join kfi , my bro studies there and my mom works there. My kalari payattu classes were in the school's assembly hall , I have attended the lunch there informally many a times , right from the start of 10th , whenever dejected while studying , I have treated myself to the imaginary classes in KFI , everyone smiling , to motivate me....I know all the teachers  and more importantly I have lived all my life for that moment where I would enter the school as a student....which I was not going to now - forever.
HOW CANT THIS HAPPEN TO ME???? I was in the car , going to CV.
My mom - " You  are lucky , you are getting the stream you wanted!"
Me- ( with maximum effort to stop the voice breaking) kfi....
mom - We received a final letter from ICSE stating that you cannot....
Thank you mom , you have removed the necessity for me to speak , I am CRYING now , we were nearing CV and the driver was going slowly , giving me time to regain my composure. It took all that was inside me to stop crying and meet the principal. I got the admission in a day - a world record. All because of my grade - which I had control of.
The foremost thing I am going to do , once I become a lawyer , is stop THIS from happening. I cannot let this to happen to anyone else - the grueling 45 minutes of interview ,the wait and the happy news that I got ADMISSION!!! The socializing , Mamandur trip where I received a lot friends , inboxing Karunya who I decided as my BFF without seeing or talking with her directly....the sharing we had! <3 , choosing the subjects , getting specimen copies from the teachers , career counselling from my class teacher , the privileges I enjoyed! =D , the dreams , hope , faith and happiness! After all this! Like a 'niruthunga' (stop!) right before someone ties the thali my biggest dream bubble was burst with a huge thorn .
Now I am in CV. I have attended 2 days of school. I am regarded as a quite , silent girl....maybe because I can't talk. I am still in the shock . How many times in a million will this happen? and why ME? Is it wrong to love something so dearly?? I cannot fathom anything. I got the marks , the words to speak in an interview. I won the cup , given it and how can you snatch it just because the referee was BLIND?
Before this sad story gets a violent twist I am signing off!!

14 comments:

  1. I know as a father I am helpless! I could not give my daughter what she wanted and I am not good enough to fight the system because I have my daughter's future at stake! Can anybody who reads this blog find a solution to this problem? Atleast for the next batch of students, so that they don't suffer a similar fate!

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  2. sorry samyuktha but the word is "lay" not "lied"

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  3. chandrashekhar krishnaJune 4, 2011 at 8:41 PM

    its so so hard for the readers... i accept.. but never ever expect anything in life semi... i mean this.. still carry on semi... frnds are still thr wit u to cheer u up =D

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  4. Semi!! ='(
    SHIT!
    Our princi is soo messed up man..
    Im soo sorry...I knew how much you wanted to get into KFI, you've told me about this when we were in 3rd or 4th standard itself.
    I hope you like CV..

    P.S- Ill always be there for you <3
    I actually almost cried when I read this. =(

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  5. sammu.. din know what a blog is till jp skyped me a little while ago. (Well soldiers are not supposed to know more than required.) To tell you frankly baby... i never felt so much happy to read someone's account of disappointment.. i read every word of yours with with my mouth gaping wide open.... and with a sinister smile..... she is also crying of disappointment (hahahah)... everyone goes thru the same phase .... but i am very happy that your dad and mom have made you capable enough to convey your feelings across in such fantabulous words.... and that has made your dad proud enough to say " dei sriram ...read her blog... it is awesome"...sammu let me feel proud in telling you .... jokes apart... I AM REALLY IMPRESSED... NOT WITH YOUR FEELINGS (SOLDIERS DONT HAVE FEELINGS).. but yur vocab.... u may be silent ( as you say) but your words speak volumes.... wish you a very bright future dear... i am sorry i made a total kichidy of yur feelings... but frankly your painful cry made an interesting reading... god speed...you are destined for a bright future.. so dont get belittled by minor issues...

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  6. Congrats on joining CV in humanities studies. Life is a hard game. It can be even cruel at times. But everything is pre determined. This emphasizes whatever man proposes god disposes . whatever comes to us should be accepted as god's send gift. Cheer up and study well!

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  7. Disappointments.They can be trying and when one has waited one's whole life to be part of an institution and doesn't get that chance ( whatever the reason), it doesn't seem fair.

    I empathize with you and I was also looking forward to seeing you in school,:) but remember, "This too shall pass" and you will bounce back to be more resilient towards other challenges that await you.
    All the best and remember to never let "school/college" come in the way of your "learning". All the best.

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  8. Dear Samyukta,
    Indeed, I was looking forward to being your teacher. I was so happy to have another person for history. I've known about your history interest since you were in middle school through your mother.
    I really wish all this could be changed.
    However, if you wish, I could always help you out with books or materials.
    And don't worry, you will still be part of the family.
    Akhila

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  9. Hi Samy,
    It had been a long time, since I had seen you. It is good to know you have become so grown up and are going to class XI.

    I felt really very sorry when I read your blog. Understand just one thing, that if GOD takes something from your hands, he is planning to give you something really big. You have a good style of writing. (I have read only this one post but am reading all the other after publishing this comment for sure). You have a good command over English and I am sure you will be able to put all your thoughts and feelings in writing and carry it to all the people across the globe.

    All the best for all your future.

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  10. I would really like to THANK all of u for posting such motivating and cheerful comments! I don't want any of you to worry how I am feeling , because all is well.

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  11. I've been enjoying your posts and recently also looked forward to knowing you a whole lot better - it felt terrible to know you wouldn't be joining The School. I wonder why such things happen - and have found no answer at all!
    I however know one thing for sure - Samyuktha is a lively, resourceful, creative and spontaneous human being - she will flow and be herself and learn wherever she is - and those around her are lucky! Warm regards, and all the best. Will continue to read your interesting blog.
    Sumitra Akka

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  12. Sammu.. I have to agree with Sriram. I am really dumbfounded with your writing more than empathizing with you. Usually i don't like to read blogs and i used to feel its a waste of time just writing what they did and felt everyday but you proved me wrong.I got to know through you that this is a forum to improve your writing skills and to let others know how good you are at it. Stay focused on becoming a lawyer and reaching your goal and don't worry about the school you join as long as you have chosen the subjects you wanted to pursue. All the Best!!!

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  13. Having known your excitement of joining KFI, I can well empathise with your disappointment and cruel twist of circumstances out side your control - Strange ways of life!! I wish you all the best for the future - may you grow stronger and maximise your potential. Hey, get back to your vibrant self!!
    Luv,
    Manjari

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  14. Hey this sadhana my mom works where ur dad works to she sent me this blog and hey am very impressed with the way u write ur style is very good.I also can understand what ur going through though in my case it was the other way i wanted to leave KFI though its a lovely school...i have always wanted to join any other and leave mine behind.there are people who really want it badly but just don't get it .am so sorry but really wish all the best in ur new school.and ya u will get over it soon.
    ALL THE KEEP WRITING AND SHARING UR FEELING AND THOUGHTS..ur blog is very touching to read.

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