Skip to main content

Fearing a future without YOU.....



My mentor is leaving me next Friday. This is the message, I have been trying to convey this for the past 6 hrs but have done it with no success.Maybe because I can still cannot believe the fact......I will not believe it till the last second....Why does my life get always stuck in such turmoils? WHY?






Maybe because everything was too sweet , like the Utopian concept she explained during nationalism in Europe.....life will have to move on , I understand....but why is she going NOW? Leaving me just before my final step- the final examination after which I will move on to another school! I am maybe too selfish but so are the hundreds of students who are studying under her and so are the thousand who studied under her.









It was so good! From last year I haven't put one foot wrong, because of the path she carved for me. When I got the highest mark this semester I could only feel the gratitude.....I didn't even tell her a proper thank you. I can clearly remember the envy of the other section students when our class explained the classes with her! God is too evil, why can't we experience some fun??



What is SO special about her classes you may ask.It is my duty to explain.

  • Stories - The last time someone hears a story from a teacher must go back to the lower primary levels, but our class is (going to be was soon) lucky to hear some stories from her.She mostly starts or end our class with 10 minutes of stories! If I explain those stories it would become an entirely different post, so I'll run through it. Her stories ranges from the hare and the tortoise with a twist to what the earth would be like in a 70 years....I promise to explain the stories later [ ;) ]                                                                                       hare and tortoise with a twist!           




  • Discussions- What really happened in 26/11? Is the CWG so bad as shown? Should we care really what Obama has to tell about India? If you have any query about any matter we discuss it  in  the class! Miss usually supports India but also accepts it if she is wrong! Isn't that a wonder? Although I always seem to be accepting with her views......




  • Other subjects- How many teachers even think about other subjects except their own?? Miss does! In fact , instead of just giving 10 mins free for preparing for a different subject she explains the subject by herself! I still remember the way she explained biology when we had an understanding problem with our new teacher and also the poem which explains about the cross roads in life! You wouldn't believe it, her new interpretation of a line made us all gain 2 marks in that test!

  • Handling- She hasn't yelled at us even once throughout the years, even though we are reputed to be the worst batch in the school.She makes us feel special when she calls us 'her special batch'.When other teachers leave you confused why you lost a mark,she clearly writes the point we have missed and sometimes writes extra points, we could have written even when she doesn't cut a mark!







All the descriptions would be incomplete if I don't tell this point, She teaches her subject in the best possible way and finishes her portions in the fastest time although she is too modest to accept all this.....She can never have a replacement and there will always be the empty spot in my life....I am at the  least happy that she has been with me for this long......





It is make or break without  her now. I don't know how to go about studying with the other teachers.....must be the same way because it is the best way.I remember it yesterday,everything was going in the wrong way- The cat fight with my mom where she scratched my face (!) , the horrible 'surprise' my friends gave me , the detention I got during my games for not bringing my racquet  and forgetting to call my parents and informing that it would get late after the movie.........but somehow at the end of the day , her leaving the school disturbed me the most......leaving a pit in my stomach,fear in my heart and a confusion in my brain....

                                      Please don't leave.......... 
                                      I don't have anymore ace up my sleeve  
                                     I am very sorry , I am just sick with worry!


Miss if you read this please don't change your decision I am just a bit fuzzed up that's all. I will always wish the best for you. =)


- yours apologetically  yet  cheerfully yet sadly yet confusedly
 Samyuktha (semi)




Comments

  1. I think u should mention her name and your school. Then only all these will have a meaning.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Unfortunately.....she doesn't want her identity revealed...:/

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Would love some validation or better ... Some criticism!

Trending posts

You Too

I too didn’t wannaget raped Stalked hunted preyed on And Live in a social structure Where I could do no wrong.
I too wanted to report him And make him pay For all the layers He stripped off me And made me a sexual object Only worthy of being attained
I too want to come out clean After I burn down this building Of patriarchy and misogyny Where his silence is valued more than my voice And my silence is enough to prove his male noise.
I too I really do But will you pay my bills And help me when I’m on pills? Why will I ask you for justice When you shame me for asking too late
Truth is You don’t want me to voice out And change this system Where it works just fine for you How is my accusation worse than his actions? Because now you have to do something about it now?
So I’m sorry If it is going to affect your privileged little life But I am going to climb to the roof of your building Take my biggest fricking megaphone And shout YOU TOO* *you silent enabler of patriarchy I hope you can hear now*


A hard day's night

Sometimes Whatever you touch turns to gold And people sing your praises And name their babies after you
But mostly It is a crap fest And walk in the dark A whole lot of ‘learning’ and ‘hardwork’ Without reward or due.
It is very easy to get disheartened Or a whiny loser A self-fulfilling prophecy Which can be avoided With a bit of grit



Bite your teeth Get down to work Not to prove anyone wrong But prove yourself right

The world openly admires talent And secretly respects hardwork Become as good as you think you are Take these bad days as a boon Or fool yourself with any b.s Anything which helps you sleep at night So that you live to fight and win another day.
Actual experience makes clich├ęs real And superstition into faith And a bad day A good one

Others

Living on the mandate of others Is basically Life imprisonment Yet we all bear through it All Smiles through a gritted teeth. A rite of passage of course To come unscathed through the other side Full of sudden wisdom and cryptic cynicism Silently afraid to cut these choking umbilical chords Nourishment and community and all Convincing ourselves this is what it is To Be Human,


Taking the place of the Others Who won and lost Losing our wonder And wondering what we lost- The essence of being ourselves
The hyenas feed on our soul Only when it is exposed Keep it intact tightly within you Guard it like a watchdog Fundamental rights and all. Worship it like a temple and Pray you don’t lose yourself For the call of others Whatever may be the cost.