Skip to main content

A challenge with 'GOD'

A week ago I went to shirdi temple where sai baba was born. I have never analysed my religious views seriously as I thought I wasn't old enough and to be more frank I really didn't bother about any supernatural powers over me. I am more like me when I pray to god during hardships (like exams!!) .
Now, I wanted shirdi  to be more of a holiday than spiritual eye turner and my grandmother didn't help my cause.She was constantly nagging  me to do this and that for god.Then came the bad hotels and huge Que which I had to cross to meet the god himself(or his idol).Maybe if you were so religious you would have been awestruck seeing the huge statue of god , not me. I was thoroughly irritated as I could have seen that in the television screen outside the temple, even in my house as they daily broad cast sai baba's aarthi on T.V.
So, the vicious me was turned on. When I went to touch his foot.....I thought "GOD! what is the use worshiping u in huge numbers? what will be the great difference if I worship you or not???! I demand an explanation, why should I love you , hate you ?? who the hell are you?? how can I believe in you?"
After this I felt as if I had a huge burden of my shoulders.I went back to my congest double bedded room containing six people and carried on with my tour. The next day we left for nashik where we where planning to visit more temple(aargh).
I woke up the morning and went to have some breakfast.Suddenly something happened in my stomach.....the perfume in the restaurant was smelling like poison to me and after eating my first piece of dosa I threw up everything. That was the beginning of a long day where I puked everything that passed my mouth even water.I knew it was indigestion but.....something told me there was more to it.As the day passed I couldn't help but remember my challenge or whatever with Mr.sai baba!!.
Back in hotel I was  weak and tired.....my grand mom kept pestering me that I didn't pray to saibaba for a long time. Like hell! There were more crowd there than for any IPL match and u expect me to keep staring at his face or something?!
Then the idea hit me, it was rather lame actually, but I was desperate no tablet was working , so I decide to woo the god as I didn't have anything to lose.
Again in my mind voice(I will never talk, I'm not that crazy!) I told god ,"ALMIGHTY! you are the best! You created the universe and also by mistake created me, this idiot!!who am I to question you! I believe you , but how can I prove it to you?!" and blah! blah! blah!.I thought I had done the right thing.
Unfortunately, my stomachache only worsened and they even decide to admit me in hospital! My grand mom decided to not visit Elora caves the next day for my sake. We both decide to stay in shirdi itself.You would remember me stating that my grand mom was   crazy of gods, so this crazy women couldn't just stay outside the temple when she was so near to it , so she forced me to come along with her to the temple again.(!!!)
This time I was rather tired and didn't groan much about the huge line, actually I liked doing something rather than nothing.......I think you can feel the slow change in me,right? So at the end of the endless Que I became all sensitive and charged up (even with the stomach ache). I felt eerily calm after visiting sai baba this time and I felt god inside me! Don't think its some saint talking its just the feeling one experiences after really believing in god for a second.........I had new hope to fight my stomach ache and I knew it would go.I found that minute that I needn't have to prove anything about my belief, all I had to was believe it first!
After this wonderful discovery of life , my stomach ache was solved and I was back in my train. As always , my problem was solved I decided to leave god theories behind and concentrate on the life he gave.I knew that I needn't worship him like everyone or abuse him.I just had to acknowledge him from time to time ( that time is obviously a problem!).I figure that this relationship was perfect between god and me.My friend gave  me a call and asked, " So babe what's ur take on sai baba?" 
I simply replied,"Don't you dare mess with him!"
(If u think my view has changed about god you are wrong read the thing carefully again. I always pray during hardships only!)
This is a real life incident with a bit of fiction.,,,,,,,


Comments

Trending posts

You Too

I too didn’t wannaget raped Stalked hunted preyed on And Live in a social structure Where I could do no wrong.
I too wanted to report him And make him pay For all the layers He stripped off me And made me a sexual object Only worthy of being attained
I too want to come out clean After I burn down this building Of patriarchy and misogyny Where his silence is valued more than my voice And my silence is enough to prove his male noise.
I too I really do But will you pay my bills And help me when I’m on pills? Why will I ask you for justice When you shame me for asking too late
Truth is You don’t want me to voice out And change this system Where it works just fine for you How is my accusation worse than his actions? Because now you have to do something about it now?
So I’m sorry If it is going to affect your privileged little life But I am going to climb to the roof of your building Take my biggest fricking megaphone And shout YOU TOO* *you silent enabler of patriarchy I hope you can hear now*


A hard day's night

Sometimes Whatever you touch turns to gold And people sing your praises And name their babies after you
But mostly It is a crap fest And walk in the dark A whole lot of ‘learning’ and ‘hardwork’ Without reward or due.
It is very easy to get disheartened Or a whiny loser A self-fulfilling prophecy Which can be avoided With a bit of grit



Bite your teeth Get down to work Not to prove anyone wrong But prove yourself right

The world openly admires talent And secretly respects hardwork Become as good as you think you are Take these bad days as a boon Or fool yourself with any b.s Anything which helps you sleep at night So that you live to fight and win another day.
Actual experience makes clich├ęs real And superstition into faith And a bad day A good one

Others

Living on the mandate of others Is basically Life imprisonment Yet we all bear through it All Smiles through a gritted teeth. A rite of passage of course To come unscathed through the other side Full of sudden wisdom and cryptic cynicism Silently afraid to cut these choking umbilical chords Nourishment and community and all Convincing ourselves this is what it is To Be Human,


Taking the place of the Others Who won and lost Losing our wonder And wondering what we lost- The essence of being ourselves
The hyenas feed on our soul Only when it is exposed Keep it intact tightly within you Guard it like a watchdog Fundamental rights and all. Worship it like a temple and Pray you don’t lose yourself For the call of others Whatever may be the cost.