A week ago I went to shirdi temple where sai baba was born. I have never analysed my religious views seriously as I thought I wasn't old enough and to be more frank I really didn't bother about any supernatural powers over me. I am more like me when I pray to god during hardships (like exams!!) .
Now, I wanted shirdi to be more of a holiday than spiritual eye turner and my grandmother didn't help my cause.She was constantly nagging me to do this and that for god.Then came the bad hotels and huge Que which I had to cross to meet the god himself(or his idol).Maybe if you were so religious you would have been awestruck seeing the huge statue of god , not me. I was thoroughly irritated as I could have seen that in the television screen outside the temple, even in my house as they daily broad cast sai baba's aarthi on T.V.
So, the vicious me was turned on. When I went to touch his foot.....I thought "GOD! what is the use worshiping u in huge numbers? what will be the great difference if I worship you or not???! I demand an explanation, why should I love you , hate you ?? who the hell are you?? how can I believe in you?"
After this I felt as if I had a huge burden of my shoulders.I went back to my congest double bedded room containing six people and carried on with my tour. The next day we left for nashik where we where planning to visit more temple(aargh).
I woke up the morning and went to have some breakfast.Suddenly something happened in my stomach.....the perfume in the restaurant was smelling like poison to me and after eating my first piece of dosa I threw up everything. That was the beginning of a long day where I puked everything that passed my mouth even water.I knew it was indigestion but.....something told me there was more to it.As the day passed I couldn't help but remember my challenge or whatever with Mr.sai baba!!.
Back in hotel I was weak and tired.....my grand mom kept pestering me that I didn't pray to saibaba for a long time. Like hell! There were more crowd there than for any IPL match and u expect me to keep staring at his face or something?!
Then the idea hit me, it was rather lame actually, but I was desperate no tablet was working , so I decide to woo the god as I didn't have anything to lose.
Again in my mind voice(I will never talk, I'm not that crazy!) I told god ,"ALMIGHTY! you are the best! You created the universe and also by mistake created me, this idiot!!who am I to question you! I believe you , but how can I prove it to you?!" and blah! blah! blah!.I thought I had done the right thing.
Unfortunately, my stomachache only worsened and they even decide to admit me in hospital! My grand mom decided to not visit Elora caves the next day for my sake. We both decide to stay in shirdi itself.You would remember me stating that my grand mom was crazy of gods, so this crazy women couldn't just stay outside the temple when she was so near to it , so she forced me to come along with her to the temple again.(!!!)
This time I was rather tired and didn't groan much about the huge line, actually I liked doing something rather than nothing.......I think you can feel the slow change in me,right? So at the end of the endless Que I became all sensitive and charged up (even with the stomach ache). I felt eerily calm after visiting sai baba this time and I felt god inside me! Don't think its some saint talking its just the feeling one experiences after really believing in god for a second.........I had new hope to fight my stomach ache and I knew it would go.I found that minute that I needn't have to prove anything about my belief, all I had to was believe it first!
After this wonderful discovery of life , my stomach ache was solved and I was back in my train. As always , my problem was solved I decided to leave god theories behind and concentrate on the life he gave.I knew that I needn't worship him like everyone or abuse him.I just had to acknowledge him from time to time ( that time is obviously a problem!).I figure that this relationship was perfect between god and me.My friend gave me a call and asked, " So babe what's ur take on sai baba?"
I simply replied,"Don't you dare mess with him!"
(If u think my view has changed about god you are wrong read the thing carefully again. I always pray during hardships only!)
This is a real life incident with a bit of fiction.,,,,,,,